Your Best Clients Seem Random. Here's the Common Thread You're Missing.

If you're struggling to define your ideal client, it's likely because you're looking at the wrong data. You're analyzing their job titles and industries when you should be analyzing their mindset. By shifting your focus from demographics to psychographics—understanding their deepest fears and aspirations—you can uncover the hidden pattern that connects your best clients and create a message that magnetically attracts more of them.

Key Takeaways:

• The Problem: When your favorite past clients come from wildly different industries and roles (a tech VP, a non-profit director), it feels impossible to create a targeted marketing message, leading to generic content that attracts no one.

• The Mindset Shift: The unifying factor among your best clients isn't what they do (their role), but who they are and the situation they're in. You must seek the common thread, not the common role.

• The Framework: Use the "2 AM / 2 PM Rule" to uncover this common thread. Identify their deepest late-night anxieties (2 AM) and their biggest afternoon daydreams (2 PM) to understand their true motivations.

• The Goal: To move past the "Demographic Trap" and build a psychographic profile of your ideal client, allowing you to create a potent message that consistently attracts profitable and fulfilling work.

I’ve become an avid reader, with a goal to read 50 books this year. My rhythm is usually nonfiction in the morning and fiction before bed, so my bookshelf is a pretty eclectic mix.

If I had to pick three standouts from the past few years, they’d seem completely random at first glance. There's The Stormlight Archives, a massive epic fantasy series I can't put down. Then there’s The 6 Types of Working Genius by Patrick Lencioni, a business book I love for its engaging fables. And for history, I’d pick Stephen Ambrose’s Undaunted Courage, about the Lewis and Clark expedition.

A fantasy epic, a business fable, and a historical narrative. What could they possibly have in common?

However, upon closer examination, a powerful, unifying theme becomes apparent. All three are fundamentally about the same thing: a group of people, each with unique skills, coming together to face a monumental challenge. They are stories of leadership, teamwork, and overcoming incredible obstacles to achieve a nearly impossible goal. The common thread wasn't the genre; it was the journey.

Seek the Common Thread, Not the Common Role

That "aha" moment with my bookshelf is the same one I see visionary practitioners have when they finally crack the code of their marketing. They struggle to define their ideal client because they're looking at the wrong data. They're analyzing their clients' business cards when they should be analyzing their character.

You look at your favorite past clients: one was a VP at a tech firm, another was a non-profit director, and a third was a partner at a law firm. You conclude there's no pattern and default to a generic message that resonates with no one.

This is why we believe the most profound business relationships are built on a shared worldview and a common challenge, not a shared job title or industry. Stop looking for demographic patterns and start looking for psychographic ones.

Seek the common thread, not the common role.

The "Common Thread Compass": Your Guide to Psychographics

This is the key to escaping the "feast or famine" cycle when your client base seems random. By identifying the deeper pattern among your best clients, you can finally create a marketing message that consistently attracts more of the people who bring you energy and are most profitable.

The solution is to dig deeper than demographics. The common thread isn't what they do; it's who they are and the situation they're in. You find it by what I call the 2 AM and 2 PM rule:

• At 2 AM, when they sit up wide awake, stressed and anxious, when every problem seems ten times worse than it is in the daylight—what are they stressing about? What worries them? What truly frightens them about their business or career?

• At 2 PM, when they are sitting at their desk, half-focused on work, half-dozing off into a daydream—what are they daydreaming about? Is it a far-off beach? More time with their family? Is it the freedom and confidence of leading a team that runs itself?

The 2 AM fears are the problems they will pay to solve. The 2 PM dreams are the outcomes they will invest in to achieve. The space between the two is where your value lives.

Your Action Plan for This Weekend

Let’s make this tangible. List your three all-time favorite clients to work with—the ones who were not only profitable but also brought you the most energy.

For each client, ignore their title and industry. Instead, answer the 2 AM / 2 PM rule for them:

• What was their 2 AM fear when they came to you?

• What was their 2 PM daydream?

Look at your answers side-by-side. The pattern that emerges—the common fear, the shared dream—is the DNA of your true ideal client.

It's Friday, October 17th. As we head into the weekend and start thinking about wrapping up 2025, this reflective exercise is the perfect foundation for your strategic planning. Use the clarity you gain from this audit to build a marketing plan for the new year that is targeted and potent.

It’s time for a mindset shift. Your ideal client is not a job title. It's a psychographic profile. You aren't looking for a category of person; you are looking for a state of mind and a moment in time.

Identifying this common thread is the crucial first step. The next is to translate that insight into a powerful message that speaks directly to that psychographic profile. You need to codify your process in a way that resonates with their specific fears and aspirations. My free 3-part video course, "From Trust to Transactions," is designed to help you do exactly that.