How to Make Business Development Feel Like a Conversation

Tired of the Chore? How to Make Business Development Feel Like a Conversation

If your business development efforts feel like a draining chore, you’re not alone. Many have been taught that growth requires an exhausting hustle that feels inauthentic. The truth is, your most powerful growth engine isn't a pitch; it's the genuine engagement you already excel at. Shifting your mindset from "getting" to "giving" can transform the chore into a fulfilling conversation.

Key Takeaways:

• The Problem: Traditional business development often feels transactional and forced, like awkward small talk at a networking event. This creates an authenticity problem for experts who thrive on deep, meaningful connections.

• The Mindset Shift: Stop measuring your efforts by "leads generated." Start measuring them by "conversations started" and "value provided." Growth is the natural byproduct of genuine engagement.

• The Framework: Adopt a "Give, Give, Ask" rhythm. Focus on generously providing value and help before ever asking for anything. This builds trust and makes business development feel like an extension of your best client work.

• The Goal: To build a predictable pipeline that feels sustainable and authentic, turning the dreaded chore of "marketing" into the fulfilling practice of helping people.

I have a confession to make: I’m not the biggest fan of networking events.

You know that feeling the moment you walk through the doors of a hotel ballroom for a networking event.

Your ears adjust to the dull roar of a hundred conversations happening at once—a sea of indistinct chatter and the clinking of glasses. You pin on your name tag, feeling it pull awkwardly at the fabric of your shirt, and grab a drink you don’t really want, but you just have to do something with your hands.

Then comes the moment of truth: you have to engage. You see people scanning the room over each other's shoulders, their eyes darting around for a more important connection. The handshakes are brief, the smiles are tight, and every conversation feels like a preamble to the inevitable exchange of business cards.

In these moments, you feel less like a person and more like a human business card, delivering the same pitch on a loop. It’s a transactional, draining, and hollow exercise.

That’s not where real connection happens. Real connection is found in the quiet focus of a one-on-one conversation, where you take the time to actually get to know a person—to learn about their interests, passions, hopes, and dreams. The things that make us truly human and three-dimensional. Yet, so often in business, we're told to trade that depth for the shallow, exhausting work of "working the room."

From a Dreaded Chore to a Natural Conversation

That feeling of dread at a networking event is the same feeling many of us get when we think about "business development." We’ve been told it’s a numbers game, a chore that requires a hustle that feels completely disconnected from the meaningful, consultative work we do with our clients.

But what if that's just wrong?

This is why we believe your business development shouldn't be a separate, dreaded task on your to-do list. It should be a natural, integrated extension of the valuable, consultative conversations you already have every day.

You’ve been told that growth requires a "hustle" that feels inauthentic. The truth is, the very skills that make you an incredible expert—deep listening, thoughtful questions, and offering genuine insight—are your most powerful business development tools. The chore isn't the work; it's the mindset.

Genuine engagement generates growth.

The "Give, Give, Ask" Rhythm

This framework is designed to transform the "chore" of marketing into the fulfilling practice of helping people. It leverages your core strength of consultative conversation to build unshakeable trust long before a transaction is ever mentioned, creating a pipeline that feels both authentic and sustainable.

The core problem is that most experts approach business development with a constant "ask" mindset ("book a call," "download my thing," "buy my service"). This energy feels transactional to you and your audience, which is why it feels like a chore.

The solution is to shift your focus from "getting" to "giving." By generously providing value first, you build relationships and make the eventual "ask" feel like a natural, helpful next step. Not a forced sales pitch.

Here's how it works:

Give #1: Proactive Value (The 5-Minute Insight)

Publicly share a valuable resource, tip, or insight that solves a small, specific problem for your ideal client. Find a great article, a podcast, or a book that you know would help them, and share it with your thoughts.

Frame it as a helpful, no-strings-attached recommendation.

This is the digital equivalent of sending a "thought you'd find this interesting" email to a respected colleague.

Give #2: Responsive Value (The Helpful Reply)

Actively look for questions in your network—on LinkedIn, in professional communities—where you can provide a genuinely helpful answer.

Spend 5-10 minutes offering a thoughtful reply in a comment or a direct message.

You're not pitching; you're problem-solving in public, demonstrating your expertise and generosity through your actions.

The Ask: The Natural Invitation

Only after you've established a pattern of giving value does the "ask" come into play. It’s no longer a cold pitch; it’s a warm invitation to go deeper.

After providing a helpful reply, it might be as simple as, "Glad that was helpful. I have a resource that goes deeper on that topic if you're interested."

It’s the logical next step in a conversation you're already having.

Your Action Plan for Tomorrow Morning

Let's turn this idea into action.

Either share one piece of Proactive Value (Give #1) or find one person to help with a Responsive Value reply (Give #2). The goal is not to sell, generate leads, or close deals. The goal is simply to be helpful.

It’s time for a mindset shift. Stop measuring your daily business development efforts by "leads generated." Start measuring them by "conversations started" and "value provided." The growth you seek is a natural byproduct of genuine engagement.

This "Give, Give, Ask" rhythm is the most authentic way to build your pipeline. But the quality and confidence of your "gives" depend on how well you've packaged your own expertise. To share valuable insights freely, you first need a clear, codified process to draw from.

My free 3-part video course, "From Trust to Transactions," is designed to help you do just that—structure your genius so you can share it confidently and turn chores into conversations.